' Dreams | Adventures with FitNyx

Friday, July 14, 2017


It's a familiar story: I write for a while, stay consistent a bit, then vanish for weeks or months at a time.  I come back, say "life happens", and then the cycle repeats.  I can't promise it won't happen again, but I have things to say so I'm here for now.

My life has gone in many directions.  I've achieved, I've suffered, I've lost, I've loved, I've done a bit of everything.  But I never "fit in", so to speak.  I never found my "place" in the world.  Certainly not for lack of trying!  After years and years of forging and chasing opportunities only to find myself back at square one, I had almost given up hope.  This whole business of "trying" and "following my heart" began to seem futile.  Even after starting my running hobby a little over three years ago, I still seemed to struggle to find where I would belong.

Always smiling, though, even when it's tough...

Early last year, I was hired to what I thought was my dream job.  I got to work as a race manager full time, involved in hundreds of events of all sizes and distances, and I LOVED what I was doing.  The job itself really was so much of what I had dreamed I was meant to do.  Unfortunately, trouble in paradise proved once again that even the seemingly best opportunities are not always as perfect as they appear.  I struggled with some health and environment issues, and finally backed out of the position to take care of myself and realign my goals and dreams.  Taking away as many lessons as possible, I started to look for new opportunities, but I also tried to take stock of my motivations and ultimate vision for my career.

This time around, I am much more confident that I am in the right place.  I even believe that I was in the right place before, too - the right stepping stone to a world where my visions are more likely to become reality, and my passions and dreams will be more applicable.  On Monday I started a new job, very similar to what I did previously, and the sense of belonging has been incredibly strong.  I know it's early, but I have a chance to restart this career choice armed with a lot more knowledge and wisdom, and nowhere to go but forward.

Along with this career twist, my personal life seems to finally be settling into a wonderful place.  My new house is amazing, and I treasure every aspect of having a home that is mine.  Kaalia is enjoying the spacious Frisbee yard and the excitable puppies that moved in next door.  The neighborhood is quiet and friendly.  My once-bare rooms are slowly filling with furniture from the consignment store at the corner and decor from my years of collecting and crafting.  I'm spending quality time with quality people who support me, encourage me, and challenge me, while also keeping me grounded and focused.  I'm taking better care of myself and rebuilding my confidence.

The future looks very bright right now.  I'm sure life's ebb and flow will drop me back into darkness occasionally, but I'm slowly learning that the darkness only makes the bright times more incredible.  Following my dreams has been a dicey ride, but persistence seems to finally be paying dividends.  Hopefully, as I pick the pieces back up, my hobbies will come out to play once more and I can return to the writing I've always loved.  There are so many stories to tell from the past few months...  I can't wait to share more adventures and race recaps with you, and bring the fitness community along with me as I continue to make my place in the industry.

And, y'know, bug me if you wanna hear from me more often.  I never mind the encouragement.

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